Band Members:

  • J Horsley III – Drums, Guitar, Bass, Vocals
  • Jeff Jensen – Guitar, Vocals
  • Calvin Larvia – Guitar, Bass, Vocals
  • Rick – Bass
  • Kyle Betts – Guitar

Why would I dedicate a page to a band I was in two decades ago?

Why would I think anyone but and the others in the band would care?

Cause Damn The Cow is the greatest band you’ve never heard. And if you’ve read my Jonly Nonly comics, you know they play a big part in that series. And since I don’t want to leave any questions, and I really truly genuinely loved everything about this band, I want to share with you what we did accomplish. 

Damn The Cow was a love child band born out of the ashes of many other failed bands.

  • Punk Doggy
  • Baneful
  • Baneful Pyros
  • Darkfield Paradice (I’m aware we spelled this wrong, we just went with it)
  • PAM-B (Pansy Ass Moma’s Boys or Punk Ass Moma’s Boys)

      The name Damn The Cow comes from a phone call between me and Calvin. I still remember I was sitting at my dad’s computer in the front room of the house. I think I was researching The Sex Pistols. I can’t remember what I’m supposed to do today at work, but I remember that. Thanks stupid brain. The conversation went something like this (bear with me, we were around 15 at the time).

Me: So I’m working on this new song.
Calvin: Nice, hopefully it’s not lame like the last one. This dude at school, we call him Dan The Cow. He ain’t fat, it just annoys him and he…
Me: Did you say “Damn The Cow”? That would be a dope band name!
Calvin: DUDE!

The band took many forms from over the years. From a punk band, to an alternative rock band, to an experimental improv band. 

We recorded a bunch of songs in Audacity in 2005. We didn’t have a drum set so I played drums on a desk. 

We recorded a cover the Salt n’ Peppa’s masterpiece Shoop. We also recorded a song called Shark Week. Then released them on this EP.

Track Listing:

  1. Shoop 
  2. Sharkweek

Recorded Live on May 4th, 2000 at OC Rocks! 

  • Guitar – Bryant Moore
  • Guitar – Kyle Betts
  • Bass – Calvin Larvia
  • Drums – J Horsley III

 

Track listing:

  1. Johnny’s Sweaty
  2. Her Eyes Will Turn you To Cream Cheese
  3. A Friend in Need is a Friend Who Will Sink You Like a Stone
  4. The Amazing Adventures of Schmecky Bonkers
  5. Littler Interlude Dity – Technical Difficulties
  6. The Scary Song
  7. Kyle’s Goodbye
  8. Lights of America
Songs to Castrate by - Number 6 cover

Recorded in 1999 in J’s parents garage on a Tascam 4-Track Tape Recorder *Borrowed* from our friend Luke.

Track Listing:

  1. Calvin’s Psycadelic
    • Guitar/Vocals – J Horsley III
    • Bass/Vocals – Calvin Larvia
    • Extra Vocals – Bryant Moore
    • Extra Vocals – Kyle Betts
  2. Cat Scan
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
    • Guitar – Jeremy Blair
    • Bass – Scott Longstreet
    • Drums – Chris Potter
  3. Cheese On My Toast
    • Drums – J Horsley III
    • Bass – Calvin Larvia
    • Guitar – Kyle Betts
    • Didgeridoo – Stella Dorthy Sanders Dui-Rivet
    • Recorder – Jill
  4. HAGJNE
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar/Drums – J Horsley III
    • Bass – Calvin Larvia
  5. I Wish I Was A Fish
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Drums – J Horsley III
    • Bass – Calvin Larvia
    • Guitar – Kyle Betts
  6. Kiam In A Rowboat
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Drums – J Horsley III
    • Bass – Calvin Larvia
    • Guitar – Kyle Betts
  7. Last Night
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Drums – J Horsley III
    • Bass – Calvin Larvia
  8. Lights of America
    • Drums – J Horsley III
    • Bass – Calvin Larvia
    • Guitar – Kyle Betts
  9. No Need For A Snare
    • Drums – J Horsley III
    • Bass – Calvin Larvia
  10. Player
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
    • Guitar – Jeremy Blair
    • Bass – Scott Longstreet
    • Drums – Chris Potter
  11. Ram Card
    • Keyboards – J Horsley III
  12. Replenish The Government
    • Drums – J Horsley III
    • Bass – Calvin Larvia
  13.  
  14. TFA (That’s Fuckin Amazing)
    • Drums – J Horsley III
    • Bass – Calvin Larvia
  15. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Bass – J Horsley III

This isn’t any good, but there is a cover of Louie Louie, so that’s neat. 

Jeff and J Show Vol 2 Number 5 cover

Recorded in 1996 in J’s parents garage, probably on one of those old tape deck recorders. 

This second time we recorded a bunch of garbage in the garage. This is the tape. We truly are sorry for this. 

Track Listing:

  1. 1-800-Im-A-Hotty (skit)
    • Voices – Jeff Jensen
    • Voicers – J Horsley III
  2. A Good Argument Against Drugs (or for it) (Skit)
    • Voices – Jeff Jensen
    • Voices – J Horsley III
  3. A Tale of Two Jews (skit)
    • Voices – Jeff Jensen
    • Voices – J Horsley III
  4. Bungholien Rap
    • Vocals – Tymebuster Jeff
    • Music and Beat – Fix Faxter DJn
  5. DJ Row on C-Rap (skit)
    • Voices – Jeff Jensen
    • Voices – J Horsley III
  6. Dog Feces (long version)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  7. Goo-Goo Ga-Ga
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  8. Honey
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  9. Jeff Pretends to be Slim Shady
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Odd Mouth Noises – J Horsley III
  10. Jimmy on my Knee (Pennyroyal Tea Parody)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  11. Jimmy on my Knee (Hard core, yea!) (Pennyroyal Tea Parody)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  12. Malcom on Bugs (skit)
    • Voices – Jeff Jensen
    • Voices – J Horsley III
  13. My Favorite Cat
    • Voices – Jeff Jensen
  14. Piece of Shit Car (edit)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  15. Plah
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  16. Sebastian The Crab
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  17. Shetland Ponies
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  18. Shetland Ponies (long version)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  19. Simon the Pooch
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  20. Sliver (Gramma’s Got A Bone) (Nirvana Cover)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  21. Sliver (Nirvana Cover)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  22. Son of a Gun (Nirvana Cover)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  23. Stupid Guy
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  24. The Lost Jew
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  25. Trapped Inside
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  26. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Bass – J Horsley III

 

DTC-The-Ryan-And-J-Show-cover
DTC Jeff and J Show Vol 1 Cover

Recorded in 1996 in J’s parents garage, probably on one of those old tape deck recorders. 

This one time we recorded a bunch of garbage in the garage. This is the tape. We truly are sorry for this. 

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut elit tellus, luctus nec ullamcorper mattis, pulvinar dapibus leo.

Cover
Cover
Back Cover
Back Cover

Information:

Recorded from 1997-1999 on open mic cassette players, reel to reel recorders from the 1970’s and a Tascam 4 track tape recorder. The title of this album tells you everything you need to know about the quality you should expect to get out of this. 

Track Listing:

  1. And the Cabbage Says (guitar only)
    • Guitar – Jeff Jensen
  2. Chris Potter’s First Shitty Song
    • Guitar – Chris Potter
    • Bass – J Horsley III
    • Drums/Rhythm Guitar – No idea, all we can remember is Chris played guitar, and it sucked.
  3. Chris Potter’s Second Shitty Song Made Much More Gooder by Jeremy Blair
    • same as track 2.
  4. Dog Feces
    • vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  5. Guitar Noise (left channel only)
    • Guitar – J Horsley III (Guitar test for ‘Ultra Pampers Boys’) 
  6. I Lie Here Cause I Am Dead
    • Guitar/Vocals – J Horsley III
    • Drums – Chris Potter
  7. jn3’s Really Shitty Song That He Thought Was So
    Amazing Because It Doesn’t Use Power Chords
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  8. jn3’s Same Shitty Song But A Whole Lot Shorter
    and With Bass
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
    • Bass – Calvin Larvia
  9. jn3’s Second Shitty Song That Sounds and Awful
    Lot Like His First
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  10. Last Night (rough no drums)
    • Vocals/Guitar – Jeff Jensen
    • Bass – Calvin Larvia
  11. Lonely People
    • Vocals/Keyboards – Amy Peterson
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  12. Love Can Hurt
    • Guitar/Vocals – J Horsley III
    • Drums – Chris Potter
  13. Nothing at All
    • Guitar/Vocals – J Horsley III
    • Drums – Chris Potter
  14. Nothing at All (Jeff and J version)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar/Vocals – J Horsley III
  15. Outcast
    • Vocals – Amy Peterson
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
    • Bass – Ryan Strong
  16. Player (guitar and bass rough test)
    • Guitar/Bass – J Horsley III
  17. Subliminal Messeges
    • Guitar/Vocals – J Horsley III
    • Drums – Chris Potter
  18. Thgin Tsal
    • Vocals – Ffej Nesnej
    • Bass – Nivlac Aivral
  19. Very Bad Instrumental
    • Bass – Chris Potter
    • Drums – J Horsley III
  20. Wasted Space (guitar only and it’s really shitty)
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
Cover
Back Cover

Information:

Originaly this record was released on tape back in 1998 and only contained Volume 1. Volume 2 was added for the CD edition which was put together in 1999 but never released. All 50 copies of the original tape version have been lost. Even the one that had the hand drawn cover insert by J Horsley III was stolen by one of his ex-girlfriends back in 1998 after he broke up with her.

Track Listing (Volume One):

  1. Jimmy on my Knee (1997)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  2. Shetland Ponys (1997)
    • Vovals – Balony Pony (Jeff Jensen)
    • Guitar – Shlopy Woppie (J Horsley III)
    • Radio Host – Shfeme Woopsie (Jeff Jensen)
  3. Goo-Goo-Ga-Ga (1997)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  4. 1-800-Im-A-Hotty (skit)(1997)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  5. Good-Bye (1997)
    • Vocals – Al Lujan
    • Guitar – Chris Potter
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
    • Bass – Calvin Larvia
  6. Toilet Bowl ’69 (skit)(1997)
    • Voices – Jeff Jensen
    • Voices – J Horsley III
  7. Unless (1996)
    • Vocals – Ryan Strong
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  8. Hyper Cat Scan (1998)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
    • Guitar – Jeremy Blair
    • Bass – Scott Longstreet
    • Drums – Chris Potter
  9. Hyper Player (1998)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
    • Guitar – Jeremy Blair
    • Bass – Scott Longstreet
    • Drums – Chris Potter

Track Listing (Volume Two):

  1. Bungholien Rap (1997)
    • Vocals – Tymebuster Jeff
    • Music and Beat – Fix Faxter DJn
  2. Piece of p**p car (edit)(1996)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  3. Sebastian the Crab (1997)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  4. The Lost Jew (1998)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  5. Simon the Pooch (1998)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  6. Trapped Inside (1998)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
  7. I Lie Here Cause I Am Dead (1997)
    • Vocals – Jeff Jensen
    • Guitar – J Horsley III
    • Bass – Calvin Larvia
    • Drums – Chris Potter
  8. Nanny’s Song (1999)
    • Bass – J Horsley III