Sadly, this is true.
PANEL 1
KETTLE
Did you hear? There's a new Twilight book coming out!
POT
Oh god, not this shit again.
PANEL 2
KETTLE
Oh yeah baby! Stephanie Meyer is rewriting the first book, changing the name to "Life and Death"
KETTLE
And gender swapping all the characters.
PANEL 3
Pot silent
PANEL 4
KETTLE
It's going to be magical! I can't wait!
POT
You gotta be kidding me!
KETTLE
Nope!
