PANEL 1
CHRISTMAS TREE
Hey Jew Candle, have you ever heard of this festival guy?
PANEL 2
MENORAH
Jewcandle? The name is Hanukkaf or Chanukkah!!
CHRISTMAS TREE (OFF PANEL)
The who’s the other guy?
PANEL 3
KWANZA CANDLES
I’m Kwanzaa, I celebration of...
CHRISTMAS TREE (OFF PANEL)
Yeah, no one case. Now this Festivus Guy, who the FUCK is he? Is he a new Pillar in the war on Christmas?
PANEL 4
FESTIVUS POLE
Who me? I’m just a pole, used as an alternative to the commercialization of your holidays. A Festivus for the rest of us, one might say.
MENORAH
Wait...can’t I buy a festival pole on Amazon? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of your holiday?
FESTIVUS POLE
You really know how to kill the Festivus spirit, you know that, right?
CAPTION
Yes, this is from Seinfeld. I just wanted to use the stupid pole. Shut up
