It’s tough being a lifeless, soulless minion of pure evil. That is why becoming a zombie was the best thing ever to happen to Jim. A middle tier accountant for a virtually unknown auditing company, Jim wasn’t a dull boy. He was already almost lifeless. When the gas main ripped through his building blowing his body across half a dozen cubicles, Jim’s last breathing thought was “Is this all there is?”. His first not breathing thought was “I’m really hungry. I should make a spreadsheet of everyone I eat.” Proving you can take the accountant out of the office, but you can’t take the office out of the zombie.
After finding her husband of 10 years in bed with one of his students, Karen decided on a swift divorce and a new life. And what a better way to start your new life then traveling all over the world and getting paid for it? Well, that was the plan until she lost a limb in baggage claim and woke up not going anywhere any time soon. But Karen is an optimist. Just because she’s not flying to Cabo tonight, doesn’t mean she can’t track down that bastard of an ex husband of hers and rip his penis off at the root
Blonde’s have more fun. Or so they think. Blonde’s have monopoly fun. Scrabble fun. Uno fun. Brunettes, in Marissa’s mind, have battle simulation fun. At least the smarts ones. And Marissa is smart. The barista job gets her through school, into a great paying job, and ultimately the life every blond thinks she can get by being loose and easy. She knows how rhymes work. And no, you’re not so clever as to think you were the first to say it. And now, instead of just thinking about ripping your face off from behind the coffee maker, she can and will actually do it.
Milo, Milo, Milo. Some people are just destined to lifes and deaths of stupidity induced pain. Like using a box cutter to shave your neck because you used the last of your grocery money of lottery tickets and couldn’t afford the 4.50 for a package of bic razors. Does it matter that he actually won? Not really. After all he sold the tickets for half their value to buy that 5th of tequila he drank right before he decided it was time to do some personal grooming