Kettle is the Inanimate race card. He tries his best to be the greatest Kettle he knows how, but is stuck with a friend like Pot.
Bernard is Larry's right hand Spring Bot.
Phone is a cell phone. He talks. He thinks it's funny you talk into his privates. He says it tickles.
That guy that can’t put down a cigarette even if you are in the cancer ward of a hospital, yeah that’s Nick. He would also fight you to the death to keep his hat on. He spent 4 years in the Air Force serving the USA and learned nothing expect that he missed female contact. Air Force boys, while smooth to the touch and fragile, just would not cut it. He is back from the a tour in Kuwait and sometimes has a flashback to his life in the bunker with the other sissies not good enough to be cannon fodder.
He is the son of god, the man who died for all of our sins, we all know this. What we did not know is that he was a triplet. Jesus represents your standard view of Jesus because well, that’s what he is. He loves everyone and is always trying to make you happy.
Cindy was once in love but had the misfortune of her father being a demon and her mother being a whore. When her father learned of her love he pulled him down to the underworld to work for him. The pain and lose of her one and only love on her wedding day forced her unwillingly to erupt into her skeletal demonic form. She was cast down by the people of her day and evaporated from her demonic form and spent 400 years in the ether of the earth. One day 400 years later Dylan unknowing bought a skull from a junk shop so he could recite Hamlet ‘the real way’ resurrecting her essence from the ether and bringing her back to her full skeletal demonic form. The first thing she did when resurrected? Slept with Calvin. She is still looking for her love she lost.
Carved from wood and forged in the fires of a volcano comes SKIT. He is named after a cat and has no idea that he has no genitalia. He wants to become a rock star but he has no talent at all so he settles for showing up and breaking the 4th wall from time to time.
Ever have that friend who was fun to hang around with but you always sort of wondered if they where gay or not? That’s JN. His parents cursed him with only letters for a name leaving him to a life of explanations. Because of this he became somewhat of an introvert and reclusive. This went away after his teenage years when he made friends and decided to try and be creative. It is still evident in him if you look hard enough.
Have you ever been at a party/concert/quilting show and had someone walk up to you slyly and whisper in your ear Ã¢â‚¬Å“I just crapped my pants.Ã¢â‚¬Â Or better yet, show up and your house walk in without saying a word, look you in they eye and with a large smile on their face and you watch their eyes slowly look down to their own crotch and insinuate with nothing but facial ticks that they not only went and got their tongue pierced, they pierced the penis as well? If you did, I’m sure Dylan was that friend.
The best and quickest way describe Calvin would be to call him an alcoholic. That would not grasp the scope of this dynamic character and what he is all about, though in the strip he is ALWAYS drinking. He is also the guy that goes to a bar with you and ends up getting five numbers from girls AND guys. And oral in the bathroom. He also makes you question your sexuality and consider purchasing a case of KY, Heineken and a pack of smokes and try to seduce him yourself.
He is a Tiki Guy and his name is really long, Iokepa Ka Nui Lana Mai Kahiki Akua. Say the whole thing and you might get a wish or three, no one knows because no one can say his full name. He has more magical powers then anyone in the universe and he uses them to screw with Larry. He does this because for several years Larry had him locked into a cage that he himself created. Since his release he is absent from everyone's life and Larry often wonders where he is. He tells them he is just watching and waiting for ‘something’ when in reality he is at a nursing home playing shuffle board.
He’s fat. REALLY fat. His weight is something that defies the laws of gravity. How any floor holds him is a mystery of the universe. The only scale that can withstand his weight is the side of the freeway truck scales used for semi’s, and even they stress and strain. He also has a fascination with really bad horror movies, ones from TROMA in particular. That and he likes midget porn….alot.
Garret loves video games. A lot. He also loves to call people out on their shit. It must be the red headed step-child in him or his Scottish rebellion kicking in but he is always the one to cock check JN for anything cheap/lame/stupid he might do with the y2cl universe. If JN is creator and God to y2cl Garret is Azreal.
Kepa is the y2cl ethnic card. He is here because of affirmative action. He is half Hawaiian and half robot, which if you know anything of the history of Hawaii it is populated with Robots from Japan that where placed there during World War II to throw off the US and make attacking Pearl Harbor easier. The Robots eventually turned out to be a bad idea because they discovered pineapples and weed, and then subsequently smoking weed through a pineapple. Kepa is the guy who is always down for anything, and he does mean ANYTHING. He also has an affliction for midgets named Gurdy.
Jeff is JN’s best friend from early childhood. A lot of people do not understand his humor, but to JN it is priceless. Jeff is often seen playing his guitar and wearing JN’s clothes and in general making very odd jokes about everything he can. He really has no filter when it comes to making a joke.
Klipson is Dylan’s dog. He says woof.
Princess of the Fairies in the land of Shnea and main person against Larry. Though her and the Ninja’s share a common goal of evacuating Larry from Shnea, they do not get along and rarely work together. In her world clothes are a thing that are not used, because of this she is always seen nude. She has had a brief relationship with JN and still longs for him in her heart. She wishes she could rekindle the flame with him only she is stuck in a different world.
Milo, Milo, Milo. Some people are just destined to lifes and deaths of stupidity induced pain. Like using a box cutter to shave your neck because you used the last of your grocery money of lottery tickets and couldn’t afford the 4.50 for a package of bic razors. Does it matter that he actually won? Not really. After all he sold the tickets for half their value to buy that 5th of tequila he drank right before he decided it was time to do some personal grooming
After finding her husband of 10 years in bed with one of his students, Karen decided on a swift divorce and a new life. And what a better way to start your new life then traveling all over the world and getting paid for it? Well, that was the plan until she lost a limb in baggage claim and woke up not going anywhere any time soon. But Karen is an optimist. Just because she’s not flying to Cabo tonight, doesn’t mean she can’t track down that bastard of an ex husband of hers and rip his penis off at the root
Though never seen cutting a line, it is assumed he is ALWAYS flying high on the white powder. He never has fully divulged how he lost his left arm, but it is speculated he tried to undermine a Colombian drug lord before he knew how life worked. It is rumored that said Colombian was recently used to make a canvas that Larry used to paint a picture of his mother on. The moral of his arm lose story? Never steal a 6 foot bunnies arm unless you are certain you can keep it. Larry claims he has his arm somewhere in his house, but no one has seen it.
K-Bot is a Ninja. She will kick your ass, and she will enjoy it. K-Bot’s weapon of choice is her bow staff, but she would gladly kill you with less. It is uncertain if she is really a robot or not but with her incredible accuracy it is speculated that she just might be.
SMT is the other part of the ninja clan leaders. They call themselves a clan but they are the only ones left alive due to Larry and his Spring-Bots. SMT is a lover and not a fighter, though she tends to channel her ass kicker if you cross her. She loves her dual swords but could take your head off with a twig. She would also like shopping if there was a mall in her forest.